Sunday, January 27, 2008

Confessions from the Middle of Nowhere

Change is a funny word.
To make or become different--definition according to my dictionary

But are people really people capable of change? Society seems to be split on the concept of change. Some people see change as an opportunity to make things better. Others, a disastrous force trying to corrupt their way of life.

People in themselves do change overtime, but do we really change in any way that profoundly affect our personalities? Change is more than saying you'll do something. It's following through with things. The word "change" is habitually passed around. People seem to have forgotten the meaning.

I need to find a place where weird people go to be normal. Maybe I should rephrase that, I need to go somewhere where weird is normal. Everyone I live near is extremely cautious about everything. They talk about big ideas and big dreams, but they'll never try to do anything about them. They're set in their cookie-cutter ways, never once thinking of anything else. It's all very Agrestic or Wisteria Lane-esque. Everyone's obsessed with their reputations and never breaking the mold, meanwhile they're all stabbing their friends in the back and gossiping like lunatics. They are also very uncomfortable with uncertainty. Grey areas scare them, they'll either make them black and white or ignore them completely. Not having your life figured our is not an option. I suppose they like their simple ways of life, not tainted by things like cultural diversity. The weird thing is, every now and then, I start to get sucked into it. Thinking maybe I could live like this. Then I realize I've been living here way too long, and I need to get out as soon as possible.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

This Song Is For The Rats...

This song is for the soil/That's toxic clear down to the bedrock/Where no thing of consequence can grow/Drop your seeds there, let them go/Let them go

My family doesn't really go on vacations anymore. We're a big southern family. Think "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" minus 80% of the comedy. When ever we have time off from work or school we go help each other out. It's nice I guess but after awhile you start to wish you life were less like a soap opera. The chaos is normal.

I think I might try to go into a profession where you make lots of money, because the people I know who "are doing what they love" don't seem very happy to me. Money's not supposed to buy happiness but why are so many people unhappy unhappy because they don't have money?

I'm a fan of the show Weeds. I think it's one of the most realistic (In some ways) things I've seen on TV. It rips off all the sugar-coated bullshit we seem to place on suburban America. That and they say fuck a lot. Who decided that we'd have words that were 'bad in the English language? Don't you think it's a bit absurd?

I;m trying to write this story. It's not really a story. I never really like coming up with dialogue because I can never seem to make it sound right. It's more of a note book with doodles and other stuff that will hopefully get the story out. It's like I never really have time to finish any thoughts about it, but I think I have more time on my hands now than I've had in a while. The problem is everyone else has they're own idea of what I should do with this time. I read an interview with Alicia Keys awhile ago. In it she talked about how she was kind of breaking down so she went and spent a month in Egypt. Non-celebrity people should be able to do that. The world needs to slow down. Or another generation of hippies that believe that all you need is love.

Current Music Addictions:
Jimmy Eat World
Anything from the TV show Weeds
The Donnas
Anything from the movie Juno

This song is for the people/Who tell their families that they're sorry/For things they can't and won't feel sorry for /span>

Things to do:
Work on that friggin' scrapbook for mom
Find more "Epic" songs, seach google & itunes maybe?
Work on Lights and Sounds story
Work on Film noir project
Buy new clothes
Stop feeling guilty about buying new clothes
Go see the movie Juno Again
Find some way to watch season 3 of Weeds
Not yell, roll eyes, or throw things at the stupid kids that will most likely be in my English & History classes next semester

I wanna sing one for the cars/That are right now headed silent down the highway/And it's dark and there is nobody driving/And something has got to give